As long as you cannot forgive, you have others permanently anchored in your heart. A lot of the feelings associated with the lack of forgiveness are hate, regret, grief and anger. How could you possibly open up in intimate relationships when you are weighed down by these toxic egoic emotions? The answer is you cannot severe that attachment until you have forgiven, regardless of how terrible the sin is that another human has placed on you. How many people of your past still have attachments in your own heart? The lesson of forgiveness serves as one of life’s greatest challenges but until you master it, I believe you will always be handed negative situations until you realise what it is you need to do to unlock the flow of love.
It’s not possible to love for as long as hate remains in your heart. It’s the same as trying to surf when you’re angry- your energy is tainted, you have no flow with the wave and you’re totally out of tune with what’s going on. Beneath the superficial surface of society, we’re all just energy. Moving into new relationships with tainted and unprocessed energy is a sure fire way to reach disaster.
Any bad events, words and circumstances that were said or occurred are in the past and unchangeable. It is the truth of the matter. Therefore why spend valuable energy caught up in the negative emotions of these aspects of the now ended relationship? Instead focus on the aspects of that relationship that touched on your heart and made you grow into a better person. Remember that saying that your grandma loves to use “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. Memorise that warm feeling of love and the happiness that it brought to you, forgive the rest and move on.
As humans we are all imperfect. Sometimes we think we know someone but we don’t. Take reassurance that any bad intentions or actions carry heavy karmic consequences and know that that person will be appropriately punished in this aspect. Don’t get caught up in games of revenge it’s going to hurt you more than you care to imagine. Instead redirect that energy into healing yourself and severing your ties to the past. Your goal is to be the best version of yourself you are here to be. The first step is to quiet your mind- meditate or practice yoga until you calm down all the emotional turmoil in your mind. You cannot make progress amidst an emotional storm- this is often why we ask those closest to us for advice in times of trouble, for they don’t have the thick blanket of emotional cloud blocking their train of thought. It’s often the heart we need to listen to to guide us, but the rational mind that gets in the way. Practice listening to your gut feeling or instinct as it never lies. Again you cannot hear its whispers until you have quietened the mind. Your instinct can lead you through doors you never knew existed. You’re the captain of your own ship. When you’re ready- put that sail up and continue your journey to happiness.