I wake from my afternoon nap in a panic. The late golden sun melting below the palm trees, the wind creating dancing shadows of jagged palm fronds across my turquoise bed sheet. The scent of smoke from a nearby fire drifts through the cracked window, reminding me of the many remote and tropical islands of which my younger self ventured through.
Suddenly, all of my surf trips flashed before my eyes. That was it. No more of those wild days. But then slowly, panic gives way to acceptance. A giving way that has been weaving its way throughout my mind for the past couple of years. A feeling that was certainly not always easy to grasp.
In the very moment of exploration, I know I made the absolute most of it. I couldn’t have lapped up any more of it had I tried. Though, coming out of the other side of filling every
spare moment immersed in the ocean, it’s a relief to not be 100% engrossed in it anymore. It’s a making way for something even greater.
My cup has well and truly overflowed with fullness for all the waves I’ve been privileged enough to ride. As I write, I sit with my mug of liquorice tea, while the first of the winter swells grace the shores. My rusted bicycle recklessly leans against a tree trunk from my early morning surf check. One where many hungry surfers lined the carpark, frantically getting into their wetsuits, eager to steal even one great ride. And yet, I felt a great calmness as I cycle away, no longer having that burning desperation to be out there.
It was only a few years ago that I would punish myself for missing even one morning surf. The times when I did surf early, I’d then need to be out there in my lunch break and again after work. A complete and utter obsession.
Now, a mysterious anticipation lingers in my mind. An anticipation for the next chapter to come. Curiosity tends to hijack many moments throughout my day; how great it must be on the other side. It must be something pretty incredible if it’s going to be any greater than my love of surfing.
Of course, this passion for surfing is never going to vanish and it will always remain a key foundation.
Rather, there’s some kind of interlude playing out.
A slow burn.
There’s no longer a fearful clutching at something that feels like it’s slipping away. In recognising the need for that interlude, alluring visions flash through my mind. A tiny hand in mine, small and clumsy steps, wide and sparkling eyes as we slowly make our way around the edge of a remote island.
ability as we grow all old and responsible.
impatience and frustration. Of course I only got more of that which I disliked, which held me to the same old conditions, which left no room to allow any new conditions or opportunities to come my way.
so much pent up resistance that you have to focus incredibly hard to wipe out these painful or negative thoughts.
wait for a passing car at the t-section. Suddenly the car slammed its brakes on in front of me, with the female driver throwing her arms up in the air, before erratically flipping the bird in my direction. She must have thought I was going to T-bone her already beat up Holden Commodore!
good deeds. Of course that’s not the motivating factor behind any type of volunteering, or labours of love, to expect something in return. But it’s nice to know that someone is watching over me, and sending gifts relevant to my greatest passion. I have a feeling that Huey and other universal figures are responsible.
Many of the world’s top aerial surfers crave onshore conditions to improve their airs.
to relieve her immense pain with a gas mask. Through belts of laughter, she explained how she ran for the hospital door, ripping out all of her monitors, screaming ‘I can’t do this! I’m leaving!’ as the nurses ran after her.
it’s much deeper than a physical element. Mentally we hold those magical moments out in the ocean in the forefront of our mind. Often drifting off into daydream, far away from our current reality. And I know how much of a lulling effect that has upon flashback. I think the power of the ocean continues to live within, no matter how long it’s been since your last session.
the best way to describe it is that her (Esther’s) physical body is taken over by the spirit of a make-believe called Abraham. Abraham is referred to as God, source energy, universal energy, the higher self or whatever other label you wish to assign to ‘her’.
They can come in many forms and as long as you are wide eyed and curious, you simply cannot miss them. As Abraham mentions “Source uses every possible messenger to confirm things that are important to you”.
with having a lot of money in your account? You feel free, secure, independent, proud, successful or any other feeling you can relate to it. Instead of focusing on money, focus on the vibrational equivalent to it.
focused with you on what you’re asking for more of in your life. In your attention to it, you get more of it.
to you? Every time you say you can’t, haven’t or it’s too hard, you’re going against that broadcast. A positive attitude is the pathway to the abundance that you seek.
thing with surfing. That ability to push through the fear and just go. Everyone that’s out there knows the possible consequences. I’ve experienced them and came so close to not remembering every day I knew before. Cracking my head on the reef, to a degree that saw me lose consciousness the following day. 
shades of grey, like an artist knocking his brush water over his fine watercolour canvas.
shell and tuck my claws away as strongly as I had in this moon’s pull. It wasn’t until after I felt waves of sensitivity, to everything, and an almost overwhelm, that I placed my eyes on an astrology report that spoke just to what I was feeling.
myself with resolution by external source. As the moon seemed to pull I pushed harder in return. I needed quiet. I needed to explore a corner of my soul that hadn’t been touched for so long.
existence, that it goes far deeper than what we can see with our own eyes.
question yourself and who you are, you start defending yourself in your own mind. You might even find yourself having a conversation with that person in your head even though they are long gone and may never cross paths with you again. Before you know it, that particular person with their negative energy has left an imprint on you and you may keep thinking about that one irritating action or word they said, hours, days and sometimes years later.
Surfchickareta 