Category: selfless

To adore her

by surfchickareta, posted in attention, childbirth, children, conscious living, exploration, giving, health, healthy living, life, lifestyle, love, manifestation, mindfulness, pregnancy, relationships, selfless

There are no heroes, only two lovers navigating their way through unchartered waters. Ever present, is this energetic undertow of a once unbreakable closeness. A closeness often tested to its ultimate limits, through the choppy and messy ocean that is new parenthood. 

We toy with softer ways to communicate all those needs that suddenly arise with the arrival of this tiny baby, for we know harsh words can cut deep into our tender minds. Words that return to the memory, in the stillness of another sleepless night. 

As caffeine floods my system, I remind myself to find all those little ways to adore her, because I’m certain that any cliche must be true. Enjoy it while it lasts, for time will go so fast. Whispers from passing strangers, almost as frequent as I change her.

pregnancy

The tired mind struggles to judge the distance between events. The concept of time itself, completely twisted and upturned. Sometimes the days just blur into the nights. These words sit jumbled on the page week after week, before I offer this sneak peek. 

But through all of the chaos, there’s these delicate moments that we steal. Just when we think she will never go to sleep, she starts to drift off in his strong arms. I sit quietly by his side sipping each second in. Admiring him. Admiring her. When her little eyelids finally close, we exchange this glance that in itself speaks of that knowing. The knowing that all of these battles are worth fighting for. 

My daughter

by surfchickareta, posted in attention, childbirth, children, dreams, giving, life, love, mindfulness, selfless

I guzzle another coffee.

Skip another nap.

To get ahead.

To steal more of the day.

After her nocturnal callings leave me drowsy.

But I’m learning that in my pursuit to harness more time. 

She is in sync with me.

My milk flows in tune with her.

I nourish her. 

It connects us together, no matter the distance apart.  

For now. 

After a surf I feel this tingle in my breast, even before I reach the door. 

It must be time for another feed. 

Those sweet moments back in my arms.

Her fluttery heart begins to slow to mine.

Her breath too, softens with mine. 

It assures her without words that she is safe. 

She is home. 

There’s no need to rush. 

Mummy. 

Let me drift off to sleep on your chest

My favourite place.

Everything else can wait. 

In the silence of our moments.

Let that old self gently shed.

Mummy. 

After your time out bringing me into the world. 

The seasons don’t change overnight. 

Things are different now. 

I know it can feel lonely.

When it’s just you at night. 

Finding ways to sooth me, in the newness of your role. 

Sometimes it’s ok to cry Mummy. 

In just one glance, she teaches me to move with more grace. 

To surrender to all those parts that make up our new life. 

Her wide smile tells me it’s ok to leave parts of the old behind.  

Surrender. 

Then she dances a delicate dance between wanting to be tightly held, and being on her own.

She toys between independence and complete dependance. 

For now.

Her tiny little mind is soaking up all the moving parts of the world around her. 

A world she has only known for three months. 

She must slow down in order to catch up. 

And in that. 

I become her. 

She is me. 

Slow down. 

For a moment time begins to scare me. 

Those grey hairs on the dog’s face that suddenly become so apparent. 

A face I would once spend hours affectionately studying.

Somehow feels so foreign to me.

In just a few months it feels like years that we spent apart.

Through the busyness of motherhood. 

Slow down. 

I become so entangled with her that the delicate details of my other world have sunk into the background.

Embrace this moment mummy.

They are just fragments of time.

Slices of chapters that flow from newborn to baby, toddler to child.

In a blink of an eye I’m sure. 

Pregnancy in a time of chaos

by surfchickareta, posted in childbirth, children, Corona, COVID19, health, life, love, manifestation, nature, nutrition, peace of mind, pregnancy, relationships, selfless, vitality, wellbeing

I think pregnancy tests the minds strengths in many ways, particularly the ability to remain calm when preparing for a natural birth. I mean, I can’t think of anything comparably significant than the  absolute idea of birthing a baby for the first time. We all have to prepare ourselves for so many events in life, but this one surely takes the cake. Mothers are birthing all over the world every second, but to experience the physical and emotional elements of pregnancy day in day out myself, sure is something like no other. 

On my early morning barefoot wanders next to the ocean with my big belly out, I often wonder what passerbys think of a pregnant woman in the times of a global pandemic. I hope that they don’t feel pity for her, but rather that they think she is a strong and brave woman. It would be easy to fall into a victim mindset if I allowed myself to go there. Especially as circumstances tug the mind in undesirable directions. 

The truth is, there are so many women right now who have had the rug pulled frompregnancy during COVID underneath them during these mad times. Their birthing plans have been forcefully altered, losing their key support people that were to be present on their big day. Some birth centres have closed their doors to mothers with bulging bellies, and instead welcomed those to test for COVID. I thought my birth space was the last thing that could be touched. Currently we can only have one person present at birth, some countries won’t even allow for that. 

The thought of birthing without my partner makes me shudder. Women are rebelling and considering home births, or free-births, without any medical assistance at all, just to avoid the harsh changes within the trappings of the medical system, not to mention the high risk of exposure to the virus in a hospital setting. The usual post-birth train of close friends and relatives visiting the newborn are just not possible in these times. I could never have imagined having that taken away.

Every pregnancy has its challenges and I’m certain every mother tries her best to do what is right for her unborn child, including correct nutrition, avoiding known substances that might harm their baby, sleeping only on her side and keeping the mind as pure as possible. To name a few. But even going to the grocery store has become a rather stressful event in ensuring healthy food is available at home. My need for control has taken on a new level. Surely I’m not too alone in that, as we each do our best to get by with the restrictions in place, set by stronger powers. 

I felt I was doing pretty well in gathering my little tribe of woman together prior to the time I found out I was pregnant. I miss them all and wish we could see one another at a time I need them the most. My mum. She is battling rounds of chemo right through all of this. Her immunity is so low that it becomes too big of a risk to be in contact. Besides being on the other side of a policed border. My dad who was due to visit from NZ won’t get to see me pregnant, at least not this time around. While it sounds like a cruel punishment has been handed down on, I know there will be so much goodness to come out of this and I can’t let my mind collapse. 

I was thinking the other day how much of a unique time it is to be bringing life into a world that has in essence, been forced to hit the reset button. By the time our baby is old enough to start comprehending bits and pieces of life, things would have irreversibly changed about the way we live our lives, where others will be kind to perfect strangers and the air in which we breathe is once again pure. I know this baby will be much needed medicine not just for their mumma and their pappa, but for so many who are struggling in these times. After all, we must all remember the delicate dance of life and death. 

How to master your flow state and score more waves

by surfchickareta, posted in astrology, conscious living, dreams, giving, healthy living, life, lifestyle, love, manifestation, mindfulness, nature, philosophy, selfless, soul surfing, spiritual, surfing, vitality, volunteering, wellbeing

Karma and energy. Could these two dominating aspects of existence have anything to do with being in the right place, at the right time, for that one perfect wave that stays in your memory for a lifetime? Of course there’s such thing as fluking, but I think that there’s something bigger at play.

I mention the point because I’ve noticed that when I sacrifice time to give back to others, I’m always rewarded with an unmistakeable magic session. I’m not saying immediately after time spent giving back, but at any near time in the future.

When I find myself scoring that session, my instinct tells me it’s because I’ve carried out surf paddlegood deeds. Of course that’s not the motivating factor behind any type of volunteering, or labours of love, to expect something in return. But it’s nice to know that someone is watching over me, and sending gifts relevant to my greatest passion. I have a feeling that Huey and other universal figures are responsible.

And what about energy? I’m sure you’ve noticed that one guy in the water that lets out an aggressive grunt, when he can’t paddle onto a wave. He’s likely carried negative energy from his day into the water, and placed high expectations of washing that frustration away. He’s also the one that hands out disposable death stares, to all the guys scoring the best waves. If you’ve tried to surf when you’re angry, you’ll know the impossibility of the task.

Of course a much more rewarding state of mind to harness, when in the line-up, is when you find yourself in the flow. On land, you’ll recognize this state by a series of events or situations, sometimes even the occurrence of miracles. You’ve probably noticed a flow state as:

  • Doors keep opening for you.
  • The multiple occurrence of events that send shivers up your spine (described as the touch of spirit).
  • Vibrant people seem to keep coming into your life- even a stranger crossing your path that captivates you with their high energy.
  • That feeling of déjà vu is rampant. I’ve heard that’s a little sign from the universe that you’re exactly where you need to be in life. That feeling that you’ve been there before shouldn’t be written off as cliché.
  • All those little coincidences that are actually meaningful synchronicities or signs (a term first coined by the great Carl Jung) and better described in “Catching the bug of synchronicity”.

Basically you attract all the best that life has to offer.ocean beauty

Just with events on land, there’s no forcing things to happen, as it starts to become unnatural. And it’s exactly the same in the water. You have to bring a special kind of mindset with you.

This is where you really start to enjoy any conditions you paddle out into.

If you’re reminding yourself how much you love to be caressed by the warm waters of a vast ocean, watching pods of dolphins frolic in the deep waters, that feeling of a moving wave under your feet, and just being there without any expectations, then you’re going to withhold a high energy through gratitude.

Comparatively if the conditions are terrible, and you haven’t managed to catch any waves at all, you might ask yourself why you even bothered to paddle out in the first place.

Instead, look through a different lens. Know that your surfing improves with every paddle stroke. Master those junky waves, so you can truly appreciate the flawless ones. womens surfingMany of the world’s top aerial surfers crave onshore conditions to improve their airs.

Even if you’re just sitting there, you might be surrounded by one of the best sunsets or a passing thunderstorm. These moments from nature can even be missed, when you’re so caught up in needing waves, or tactically keeping on the inside of another surfer.

When you drop the neediness, and the high expectations, or any expectations at all, then you’ll feel that flow state that you’re after. You’ll be rewarded in the surf when you dedicate time to others on land. Keep in mind that Huey always watches your efforts. If you drove for three hours and didn’t score. He’s watching. If you paddled out every day of the month just because your passion is that high, he sees that too. So where’s your karma and energy sitting at?

 

 

The joys of giving

by surfchickareta, posted in giving, love, selfless, vitality, volunteering, wellbeing

I always find this intrinsic urge to help others realise the greatness of life when my own cup is full. The funny thing is that the urge to volunteer at a local nursing home, actually came when my cup was completely empty. I guess when I felt I had nothing left to give, I discovered that in fact I still did.

I often sit down for cups of tea and listen to the many joys and struggles of those nearing the end of their lives. In the struggles, the gold always seems to be in the ability to keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and never losing sight of your true essence. The ones that speak more of their joys over their struggles, are also the ones that never missgiving to others a bingo class, dance class or yoga for over 90’s. They have found a way to maintain a solid outlook on life. Even when their mind starts to fade against their own will or knowledge.

I still see that spark in their eyes and cheeky smiles as they play pranks in the dining room with the other residents. They make the most of what they have and are entirely satisfied with their daily rituals they have created, within the physical limitations of their fading bodies.

I listen on as they ecstatically describe in great detail the type of toast and brand of butter they have for breakfast, what time the daily paper arrives and when the nursing home bus is due for their supermarket outing. I ask whether they butter the toast right to the very edges. Their excitement builds as I fabricate my interest for gains of their happiness. I love to play this little game the most.

It’s selfless because many people would rather be out surfing, catching up with friends orvolunteering enjoying the sunshine. A lot of the time that’s me and I really have to push myself to go in there.

But it’s when those I visit are lying on their beds rugged up watching daytime TV and I knock on their doors to see their faces light up.

When the old men in dance class fight over who’s dancing with me next, while the only two elderly women in the home watch on with daggers, as if I’m cutting their grass.

When I distract them from a topic that upsets them and start talking about how beautiful the last sunset was and watch their smile return once more.

But it’s when I leave that I feel it the most.

Not only does it put everything into perspective. The true shortness of life and what is to be held dearest to the heart. But I know that when they put their heads down at night, they will be recalling all the events that made up their day. They will be content in knowing that someone cares for them enough to spend time over a cup of tea. One women I have regularly spent time with over the years, believes that my being there must be the angels watching her and karma returning to her, for all the good deeds she carried out over her lifetime.

That’s what continues to make my heart sing. “I think about you a lot, come and visit again soon won’t you?” she said upon my departure, as I received a warm hug and kiss on the cheek.